I am very excited to start this blog and share my thoughts and feelings about various Otome games that are available through IOS and Android – apps that I’ve found serve a sort of psychologically fulfilling purpose. I’ve only played a couple and through my experience I thought maybe I should share these with other people. The healing power that these games can have on those who are plagued with their self-doubts and anxieties. It’s actually a pretty wonderful concept – these Otome games – for a small fee (usually about three to four dollars USD) you can have a wonderful interactive soap opera with YOU as the star! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! These six AMAZINGLY hot fellows are fighting to woo YOU.
And that can make a lady (or gentlemen, I don’t judge) feel like an absolute winner.
Now why is this such a grand concept? Well. In the modern world there are a lot of anxieties plaguing us. Pressure from parents, school, college, colleagues, bosses, and the daily stress of living. And I won’t keep you out of the loop. I’ll tell you a little about myself and just why I’m so fond of these Otome games.
To be honest I have been suffering with chronic depression on and off since I was eleven years old – the age where my parents split up and my mother immediately ran into the arms of someone I would never grow to stand. It happens, it’s life. But at eleven I wasn’t capable of handing such psychological stress so I turned to what gave me the most comfort.
Manga and anime. Yes, ladies and gentlemen; being a nineties baby (only 90’s kids will remember *gag*) I was born during the anime boom of America. Toonami showed Dragon Ball Z, Outlaw Star, Rurounin Kenshin. I would deceive my parents and stay up late to watch Yu Yu Hakusho, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun (Still my favorites and I own the entire seasons on DVD). At school I would be tormented relentlessly for reading Shonen Jump magazine – I was addicted to Yu-Gi-Oh and One Piece installments monthly. Like an addict getting my hands on everything I could get that was from Japan. I ate pocky. I said “Kawaii desu”. We all go through our weaboo phase don’t we? And that’s sometimes where we make the greatest friends who stick with us through everything.
As I did. And I grew out of that phase. But my love of anime and manga never left. All through high school I read tiny manga books from Shoujo Beat under my desk after having finished my assignment too quickly. Godchild, Sand Chronicles, Absolute Boyfriend, Aishiteruze Baby, Boys Over Flowers, Honey and Clover (OK I think you get it! But the list goes on and on and on I assure you) and in all of these comics I found something I lacked at home. Acceptance. When the character said something endearing and strong while looking full frontal at the audience (me) I felt something I wasn’t getting from a mother that had become non-existent and a brother that I hadn’t learned to get along with yet; acceptance. Someone who believed in me. Someone who knew I could do anything I wanted to. And …it felt good. I won’t lie. It may seem pathetic, but I was so happy when I was reading that the misery and sorrow seemed to melt off of my bones and I could feel complete again for the week or month until I got my hands on another.
Well. I grew up. Went to college. Got my degree. Became friends with my mother (post-divorcing the jerk) and became friends with my brother. But…Things aren’t ever so easy are they? My first year of college my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer. She beat it after an arduous uphill battle. The next year she got it again. She beat it again. And my final year, about four days before my birthday, she was diagnosed for the third (and last) time. She died on a February morning. I graduated with my bachelors in English that same March. I persevered. I didn’t want my family to loose hope in me. I had to be strong longer and longer. I had to prove to myself that I was strong enough to beat the crushing sadness that overwhelmed me along with paperwork those last few months of college. I didn’t graduate Suma Cum Laude…I didn’t have any honors. But walking up and down those steps and shaking hands with the dean and all the professors I had never seen before – it was all the honor I needed. And that was the first time I really let myself cry.
But I persevered and kept trying to be upbeat. Now, I don’t think I have the liberty to tell you my current job. So I’ll keep that to myself. But I was proud getting my first full-time, adult job. I made friends easily. But then….My boss began giving me no leeway. Everything was an uphill battle. Everything I said was deemed “snide” or “too personal”. When communicating with others on my team to make sure everyone was on the same page it was deemed as “micromanaging” and I was chastised on not being a manager.
I went home. I laid on my bed and looked up at the ceiling…and I knew…I shouldn’t want to kill myself at 23. I have so many years ahead of me but with all the negativity surrounding me and going to work always asking “What will I do wrong today” the pressure was building and building and building! The room was spinning. And then…
*Enter Legend of Zelda treasure box opening theme here*
My phone had a notification. One that I usually ignore. One of my Voltage Inc. apps was showing something. I was used to this. At work it happened all the time “So-and-so wants to show you a good time!” – swipe, gone.
“So-and-so wants you to see his dark side” – swipe, gone.
But this one said “SUPER SALE! SOME STORIES 75% OFF!”
Well….Seventy-Five percent, you say?
I’m a spendthrift….I’ll just…I’ll just take a look.
But they had new apps! One that happens when you’re a teacher in a school! What?! How scandalous!
One where you’re the only girl in an all-boys school. OMG!
Well…what about these old ones I haven’t played in a long time.
After a fight with my dad (“If you’re gonna cry go outside wouldya?” and “You’re in for a rough life”) this was just what I needed. I hadn’t thought of these games in so long but here one was. I opened the app. Powered it on. Chose a story….and someone….Even though I know he is fake and is programmed to say any name…is telling me he loves me….And I haven’t heard that since before my mom passed away.
And the tears came. But I was so happy. Someone was looking at me….caring for me…loving me. And when the story was over my depression had faded away. It seems like all I needed was for one thing to tell me I was worth something. And he had told me in grand detail all the wonderful things about my characteristics. After a thrilling story I got somebody to say they loved me…that they want to spend their life with me. And I could replay that story over and over again to my pleasure. Hear those sweet words again. And I couldn’t be pushed away. And every time I replayed a route they seemed to be saying messages that needed to be said – but wouldn’t be – by people I live around.
Or…I’ll admit….sometimes they were just cute and good to look at…
(don’t let this one deceive you though! Straight up adorable jerk! This may be the first man I write on. He’s absolutely amazing)
All over again I was that eleven year old clutching a Shonen Jump begging for just one little hint of acceptance. And I got it. I’m worth something. And so are you, Sweethearts. We are all worth something so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
So. This blog is for me – to vent my sorrows and find comfort in the arms of these fictional men. And for you – to know that even if it may seem embarrassing to like something akin to this; it’s not embarrassing. And if you are facing a rough patch in life – I believe in you. And you’ll do great things in life.
And I hope you’ll stick with me through the various Otome games I’m going to play this year to try and dissipate the sadness that tends to stick to my bones. I hope you’ll continue to read on with me as I post various thoughts on various routes.
I will mainly be covering Voltage Inc. games due to their affordable nature and usually exciting story lines. If you have any recommendations for a certain guy in a certain app please feel free to contact me and I may play his route and post picture and comments as I go along. Always feel free to contact me with suggestions, ideas, comments, etc.
I’m honored for anyone to read what I put my soul into.
With Love, Always Yours,